Clearing My Mind

I walk this morning with the aim of health, both physical & mental.  A search for clarity; perhaps a quest.  My mind is open; I listen only to the sounds around me, which change from the mundane to nature.  There is a light breeze on this cool late morning.  The sun shines brightly, providing a bit of warmth.  The squeak of prairie dogs can be heard.

 

Upon leaving the civilized world and its concrete, I step onto the soft & quiet dirt path.

A path that, while leading me to an overlook, becomes less quiet as my feet crunch upon the stones, which are like litter from the giant sandstone quarry below. 

 

At this vantage point I can see west, with an expanse far to my south & north, the majesty of the mountains: foreground, background, peaks & valleys, native names, my surname, snow-tipped or dark with shadows. 

 

I hope to see the deer we saw one other time (but it is not to be…most likely due to the loudness of my approach).

I hope not to encounter snakes or coyotes.

 

I can fully appreciate the beauty around me, my fortunate circumstances that led me here…but I need to grasp my place.  Who am I?  Who do I want to be?  What do I want to do?  How do I fill my time meaningfully?  Over what do I still have control?

 

Over what do I still have control???  That’s it!  I can control how my time is spent.  I could make myself a schedule, in any configuration.  I can arrange my mornings so that I get my workouts in and then be showered and ready by 8:30; thereby leaving the whole day ahead of me to “work”:  my creative pursuits, my reading & studies, my household “chores”, the shopping.  I will get through my To Do Lists just as I would at a job! 

 

It’s clearer now.  I must take advantage of this time I am given, or rather, taking!  The things I have been writing in journals, hoping to bring to fruition some day will be given existence.  This time is a gift…I can spend it how I choose…but I must not squander it.

 

Be like the eagle that soared above my head:  wings spread, confident in flight, with a destination in mind, but the path getting there yet to be determined.