Saturday, November 16, 2013

My Compass

Since our move to Colorado, I feel untethered, confused, pulled in several directions at once.
My internal compass is wonky, won’t stop spinning ~ think Capt Jack Sparrow’s compass and that’s me on the inside.
Does my past have anything to do with me feeling so out of sorts?  My crazy parents? 
I have tried to follow a linear path b/c it’s comfortable…less risky…dare I say normal?
Was I so focused on creating a sense of “normalcy” just to be in complete opposition from my early childhood/home life?
Perhaps I need to be more (fill in the blank) and less linear (Is that even possible for me?  Is this in my DNA??)
In Indiana, had a job, gym, friends…a routine.  Is this just a temporary sensation?  Is it b/c I like to be in control and now I am in flux??
 
Chris loves what he does; it wasn’t even what he went to college for ~ why can’t I figure it out??
My Act II is figuring out what I want to do: esthetician, librarian, fitness trainer {the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker!!} But how?  How do I focus?  How do I choose?? 

Coincidentally, I have been wanting a compass tattoo for some time now.  I have only been waiting b/c I couldn’t decide where to put it!  Again, how do I choose?  J

6 comments:

  1. Your husband sounds like a great person.

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  2. What you are going through is so "normal" for someone who moves, gives up their friends, isn't working, etc. Feel the emotions, pay attention to them, they will lead you in the right direction. And by all means - get the compass tattoo. GREAT idea. It will always remind you of this time in your life - when you were at the crossroads.

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  3. 'Just jump, the chasm isn't that deep" ~Brown Sugar to Pixie

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    1. Thank you, Brown Sugar! You & Trixie have been inspirational for me! I try to channel both of you out here!!

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