A Teaching Moment?

I didn't grow up wealthy and I am not wealthy now. 

 

Yet, my childhood Christmases seemed abundant & magical!  I don't remember if I made wish lists, but if I did, I am sure I didn't get everything on them.  However, my parents did a good job of buying things for under the tree and our stockings.

 

We were an artificial tree family.  My mom would get the tree and the boxes of Christmas decorations from the basement.  I looked forward to decorating the tree.  Some ornaments had been store bought, while many others were ceramics that my mother made over the years.  These ornaments meant the world to me and I managed to keep them into adulthood!  {I have since shared some with my brother, since I believe that he should have that part, one of the few happy parts, of our childhood as a reminder, too.  I hope that he uses them and stores them securely, to be handed down to any of his sons in the future.}  Our stockings were the same, year after year, and as with all of the other decorations, were hung in the same place.   

 

One tradition I will never forget:  we were always allowed to select one gift to open Christmas Eve.  I can't recall how I would choose which of the wrapped goodies I couldn't wait to see, tho.  Maybe I would pick something from my grandparents because I would have had no earthly idea what they sent, especially during the years when I had snuck a peek in my mom's closet and pretty much knew what my parents (or Santa) would give me. 

 

I had a keyboard and quickly learned to play Silent Night, so that was a part of our Christmas Eves for several years, as well. 

 

It was just the 4 of us, sitting at home, in our pajamas, around our Christmas tree, listening to Christmas music ~~  simple pleasures.

 

We would usually get new pajamas, some toys and a few other clothing items that we needed.  One year Santa brought me the Charlie's Angels dolls (or Chris would say action figures) ~ there they were, unwrapped under the tree, just waiting for me Christmas morn...that was a BIG deal!

 

Our elementary school would have a Secret Santa store, where we kids could buy things for our parents, siblings, grandparents, friends.  The items were small and inexpensive; I may have only had $5 to spend, but it was always so much fun.  Browsing and deciding ... from among what I would now see as items, most likely, bought from a bulk place like Oriental Trading!  :)

 

Our local mall, for many years, had some of the best holiday displays.  There were these reindeer that were set up down all of the side hallways and around Santa in the center.  (Chris would love to have his hands on them now...)

 

Also, if you were from Crown Point, you went to Gard's...a Christmas mecca.  Cars, with head lights turned off, waited patiently in line, slowly making their way in front of the house, before rolling down the windows to hear the music while watching the mechanized routine of angels around a Christmas tree, the shadows of the three wise men on camels, the painted choir, Joseph alongside Mary on a donkey, the angel on high.  Always the same, but never to be missed!  (I can only imagine what the utility bill was!!  As the years past, the number of days it was up became fewer, of course.)

 

We would spend one nite with my dad's immediate family.  We gathered at my grandparent's where we enjoyed food, company and, for the adults at least, many alcoholic beverages!!  The Long family tradition was that the adults drew names, but everyone could buy for the kids.  The funny thing, tho, is that as an older kid we couldn't wait until we got to be a part of the gift exchange...which, tho we weren't thinking of it at the time, would mean far less gifts!  HA!!  My cousin, Tam, & I are only 4 months apart, so we were treated much like twins.  We would either be given the exact same gift or the same thing just a different color (one year it was huge pom pons: one of us got blue & white, the other purple & white and we couldn't have been happier!!).   

 

Looking back, I see the joy in our gatherings: our family of 4 at home and the much larger (and louder) party at the Long's.  I only barely remember the actual gifts.

 

As adults, Chris and I decided that we were no longer going to buy gifts, for one another or family members.  We bought for Angel Tree kids or Toys for Tots, occasionally dropped off an unwrapped toy when Starbucks collected.  We would make donations to organizations like Food for the Poor in honor of our parents and send them a note to say that a pear tree or 20 chicks had been purchased for a family in a third-world country.  We knew that our nieces & nephews would be getting gifts from their parents and both set of grandparents, plus other aunts & uncles ~~ they would be fine without something from us..it was just one more thing! 

 

My own immediate family members have had (and still have) their unfair share of financial struggles and maybe that is why I am so drawn to charitable causes.  Also why I feel that it is more important to move away from the materialism of the holiday season and bring the focus back to making memories.  It's not about STUFF!

 

One of my cousins, often from his own hand, didn't have much.  He, his wife and their daughter would volunteer their time at Christmas to help out with a toy drive.  I would wonder how my younger cousin would feel, but I really think she just enjoyed what she was doing for those whom she saw as less fortunate than herself.  What a generous spirit!!  A spirit I believe she still possesses to this day, in her early 20's.  Maybe, like me as a kid, she didn't really think she was missing out on anything ~~ that is my hope.  She had lots of extended family (grandparents, aunts & uncles) who gave her gifts and we would have our big family gatherings (this time at an aunt & uncle's rather than our grandparent's who passed well before she was born).  I truly believe that the time spent in charitable works at such a young age was a teaching moment. 

 

A friend from high school has experienced a great financial change and has had to turn to food pantries (she tried and was denied public assistance) to feed her & her 2 children.  I have privately written to her to offer my support, encouragement and any advice/recommendations I can think of.  And I wonder if her kids can see this, possibly, meager Christmas with new eyes.  Maybe she can help her children see that the holiday season is about spending time with their family, that there are others with less (even if this can sometimes be hard to believe), that joy doesn't come from a store.  I hope that my friend can use this holiday season as a teaching moment. 

 

Wishing you JOY, PEACE and "Enough" for the holidays!