Trying to Find a Place to Tie My Loose Strings

I sent my resume to two gyms today:  one which is actively hiring, the other I am not sure.

 

I applied for a job last week, where I would use my mad research skills, but they are only looking for full-time and I am not.  Too bad...their loss! 

 

I found a fab place to get online, enjoy coffee and eat healthy (like beet brownies!!) called Beet Box.  We have had their brownie from the City Park Farmers Market, yet kept forgetting to come to their brick & mortar location.  I was reminded of it today, tho I don't know how or why.  It's not too far from our place, it's mostly quiet.  It will be awesome in the warmer months when they can open the giant garage door to let in the fresh air.  For today, tho, I am content with all the natural light it lets in.  Just wish there was music on this side....I will have to use my earphones and listen to what music I have saved on my laptop, instead. 

 

I read an article, a blog post, which really spoke to me.  Much of it seems to sum up feelings I have been feeling in the past couple of days.  I am struggling with guilt over not working.  I am having boredom because I am not working.  I don't want to be out spending money, but I hate staying home in that apartment.  I still feel like I don't know what to do with my (career) life.  I feel guilt over feeling guilt when there are some who may feel like I have it made... not having to work (at least, for now).  Ever since our move, I have felt untethered.  I am still not sure how to address this feeling.....

Cabin Fever

The weather outside my window this morning is the perfect background for the Rustic Inspiration I have been feeling (and gathering at my Pinterest page, here).

 

The gently falling snow, blanketing the trees, the grass, the lake. 

 

I want to be up in a cabin in the mountains. 

 

Snowshoeing in the quiet solitude.

 

Fire blazing, the tiny hut an oasis in a sea of white. 

 

 



Out With the Old

Lately, I have been weeding out my closets and drawers.  Anyone else??

 

It's not a New Year's resolution thing.  It's more...personal.

 

While I don't really know what my style is, I do know what it no longer is.

 

I am purging clothes I haven't worn in some time, clothes I know I won't wear again and a few items I just haven't worn (hand-me-downs...nothing new with tags or anything like that!!).

 

I think there are some skirts and pants I need to revisit ~ if they are too big, then I should just let them go as I don't intend to grow into them.  Right?!?  And I'm not a big fan of wearing belts.

 

It feels good.  (Tho I wish Chris would be joining in.) 

 

 

 



Hitting a Wall

I banged up my car last nite!  The back driver's side door is scratched...badly, and dented!  I literally hit a wall...well, a concrete support beam in the parking garage at the gym.

 

Chris's car was the victim of a hit & run about a month ago and his back bumper is a total mess!  We had one nice car.....mine....until last nite, just after 6.

 

All day today, I have hit the other wall.  I am depressed. 

 

I am in a total funk!  I was binge watching Mad Men.  I did manage to sweep, vacuum, wash the dishes, wipe off the window ledges (everything gets so dirty here being so close to a heavily traveled street!), have a little breakfast and shower.  Oh, and take all of my vitamins and supplements.

 

My eyes feel heavy.  Partly because I didn't sleep a wink last nite!  Not the neighbor's fault this time, well, not completely. 

 

I know, it's only a car.  And I am not injured.  And both of us, and our cats, are healthy.  And the sun is shining today.  The temps are to be in the high 50s, almost 60 degrees! 

 

I should get out.  Walk to Sprouts for a few groceries.  Try to let the fresh air was the funk off me.

 

It, the funk, is penetrating.  I know I should fight it.  I know how to fight it.  Writing this post is helping.  I need to get it out. 

 

I also fell off my "No Drinking in January" plan and drank a flask full of Malibu Rum after getting home from teaching TRX.  (Which gave me a bellyache and also contributed to my inability to have a restful nite.) 

 

It's a new day.  What's done is done.  As Chris reminded me...I DIDN'T set out to mess up my car. 

 

I just feel so stupid!  I had a gut feeling about the parking space and I should have listened! 

 

I need to check my Powerball numbers now....

QUICHE! QUICHE!

Whipped up two broccoli and bacon quiches today!  One we will eat over the next couple days, the other will be put in the freezer and saved.   

 

I based mine off of a Body-for-LIFE recipe:

 

Broccoli, Bacon & Cheese Quiche

 

1 whole wheat pie crust

1 whole egg, 4 egg whites

1/4 cup skim milk

3/4 cup fat free sour cream

dash of pepper

3/4 cup fat free shredded cheddar cheese

6-8 strips turkey bacon, cooked and torn in small pieces

1 1/4 cup chopped broccoli

 

Bake pie crust according to package directions.

 

In a medium bowl, beat eggs.  Add in milk and sour cream.  Whisk to combine.  Add in remaining ingredients and stir well. 

 

Pour mixture into previously baked pie crust.  Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes - 1 hour.  Quiche is done when mixture is firm to the touch.

 

 

**Changes I made today**

5 whole eggs

unsweetened almond milk

Greek yogurt (for the sour cream)

 

The recipe above is for one quiche.  Usually, pie crusts come in pairs.  I made two separate bowls of ingredients and baked my quiches straight away. 



The Cool Kids ~ Then & Now

When I hear the Echosmith song "Cool Kids" I am transported back to the 1980's of Taft Junior High and Crown Point High School (CPHS ~ Home of the Dawgs)!!

 

Partly because the music is so 80's!  But the biggest reason that draws me...I did feel that way at times in my impressionable years.

 

Now, I look back and hear myself saying..."What was I thinking?!?"

 

But we don't know it then.  We just want to be where things are happening.  We don't often know who we are and with whom we truly click.  We want to be part of the "it" crowd!  We want to be looked upon with awe, maybe a tiny bit of teenage worship.  We want to be one of the people within whose stratosphere other people want to gravitate!!!

I was having a lot of personal (family) struggles at that time in my life.  I look back and think that there must have been times I was on auto-pilot!  I think many of my fellow classmates were having silent struggles of their own.  If only we knew to share our issues and find the support we needed from friends who could understand the trials and tribulations, beyond the typical teenage angst.

I did have great times in high school with those who would be considered the "not so cool" kids!  If I could go back, I would seek out more of those times and deeper friendships with the others who were much more like me.
 

If I could go back, there are so so many things I would do differently.  One of the most important being :  search out the "oddballs," find the people who were really having fun, just being themselves!!! 

I believe the instability and insecurity I was experiencing in my home/family life, left me somewhat flailing and unable to find any direction, let alone figure out who "Jennie Long" was and what her future might hold.
 

Thankfully, as I have grown up, I have found more of who I am (tho I am always still searching and learning) and I have found awesome, unique (aka odd), fun, authentic, witty, talented and loving people who get me and really like me, who support and encourage me, who aren't exclusionary but rather find the similarities in all of our differences.  The NEW Cool Kids!!  The REAL Cool Kids!!

 

I cling to many of them virtually and so often wish I could be part of their lives, maybe not daily, but weekly or even monthly.  I wish I had the money to fly in to see them or fly us all together in mini reunions and gatherings, our own Conventions!!

 

This year, I intend to convey my love, respect, appreciation and gratitude to them, many of whom come from "the old days" and others are fresh faces, having just come on my scene in the past handful of years.  All treasures, all unique, all badass mammajammas!    

December to Remember

Well, yes, I know, we are in 2015 and I haven't even wished all of you a Happy New Year! 

 

Happy New Year!  Happy New You!!

 

Since I spent each day of December leaving my 31 Gifts, I didn't get around to writing about things we were doing as they were happening.  I won't bore you with every little detail, but want to share a few highlights.  For posterity's sake and all.

 

The biggest deal of December was our long-awaited Fleetwood Mac concert!!!  We bought the tix back in April and the time flew by with all we have seen & done in 2014!

 

Magical is the best word to describe the concert.  All the members were back together and each brings something special to the phenomenon that is Fleetwood Mac.  They played for over 2 hours, with Lindsay Buckingham on the stage for every song!  The sounds coming from those musicians was flawless!  They each are a master of the parts they play in this family, dysfunctional like most families are, of course!  I just knew that seeing and hearing, in person, the Goddess Mother herself, Stevie Nicks, would make me very emotional. The moment came when she began to sing "Landslide," a song which inspires tears when I hear it on the radio!!  We stood the entire show and sang and danced and basked in the glow of the history of the band and the part we now played in their storied careers.  They belied their ages.  They transported me with every song, every note.  Leaving me only to imagine the vibe of their shows in the early years....amid the drugs, the lovers' trysts, the heyday of the 1970's!  I truly feel blessed to have been in their presence.  They are, forever, real rockstars!

 

We also attended some holiday parties at the homes of new friends we have met this year.  Tina, whom we met at the end of summer, and Mylea, her girlfriend, hosted a little gathering and collected toys (we took a Monster High doll!!).  We got to hang out with our friend, Olivia, whom we met with Tina, and their friends, Antonio & Marne, whom we met at their home in the fall when we got included in their backyard barbecue.  I look forward to more fun times with all of these crazy folks!  And I mean crazy!  Each are hilarious and when they are together, it's a circus!  In a very good way!!

 

We went roller skating at Tracks!  Chris had never rollerskated until that nite!  What?!?  How does that happen?  Anyway, he continued to improve the whole time!  Only falling twice, but not injuring anything ~ maybe his pride a tiny bit, but I don't think so because there were others taking much worse spills than he.  I can't wait to go skating again!  Tracks does this every third Friday, with a theme.  It is a small space, tho, and I would really like to be in a true rink.  I will work on that!  My birthday, perhaps?  Last year, bowling, this year, skating!!! 

 

We walked both the Denver Botanic Gardens and the Denver Zoo for their winter light displays.  We both seemed to enjoy the ones at the Gardens a little more, but part of that I believe was our familiarity with the grounds, having never been to the Zoo until that nite and it was dark & very crowded. 

 

We attended a beautiful Christmas Eve candlelight service (9PM) at the oldest church in Denver.  Followed by an early (5:30AM!!) Christmas breakfast at Tom's Diner (because the neighbor's snoring woke us both about 3AM!). 

 

We enjoyed another holiday house party just after Christmas at the home of new friends, Beth & Markie.  We knew only a couple other people in attendance, at the beginning.  But by the end of the nite, we made several new friends!!!  Two, Ted & Dan, with whom we instantly bonded! 

 

The four of us hung out at Tracks on New Year's Eve and then met for brunch at Hamburger Mary's on New Year's Day (which turned out to last 3 hours because we can just talk & talk)!  I can't wait to see their home, which they purchased almost a year ago, and to continue to learn more about their lives, their travels and their senses of humor! (Ted sometimes does drag; who knows if we will get the chance to see it in person!)

 

That was our December to Remember.